He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
