Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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