At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
