I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
