You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
