I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
