New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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