I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
