what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
