well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
