I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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