brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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