I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize