Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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