Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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