its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
