Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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