That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
