Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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