Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She announced her abortion via fbk
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
