he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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