I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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