I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
then he tried to convert me to islam
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
foreskin is a definite game changer
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
