omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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