Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
