In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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