very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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