there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
