Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
