The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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