Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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