sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
