I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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