She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
