dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
