Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Me too!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
