I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
