apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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