How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
God, I missed his penis.
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