pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
