Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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