I think I am morally bankrupt
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
