hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize