Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
