It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
