So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
