Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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