Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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