My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
