HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
